I won’t feel guilty anymore…
In my workshop on Sunday I was talking to the group of beautiful souls about guilt and how guilt is a cry for people’s love. We feel terrible when we want to do what we desire out of fear that people will be upset or not approve. The reality is you’re seeking love from your parents and your guilt comes from never feeling like you were supported in the choices you made for yourself while growing up.
Let’s face it, we all carry guilt. At times, I have even stopped myself from being super happy about my accomplishment because I felt bad or guilty while somebody else is not happy in their situation or they have been shit out of luck lately. Honestly, I came to realize right after the class that I feel totally guilty for being me and for creating my own desired happiness. Frankly it’s annoying to validate and need everyone else’s approval for my choices.
I have found myself in a current situation , which has left me feeling powerless and guilty because I’ve chosen to have my needs met. Am I not allowed to have what I want and need, does this make me a bad person ? The self – sabotaging starts to kick in and then I spiral out of control thinking to myself that that person will never meet my expectation. I realized today that I won’t feel guilty for speaking my truth or for wanting my needs met! If someone takes that personally then that’s an issue they will need to take up with themselves.
Since I was a little girl, I was taught you have to be nice put others feelings above yours,step into other people’s shoes and always be the bigger person. Do you know what that had caused me to develop, the coping mechanism of needing to control and obsess over every detail of my life! It’s exhausting. Guilt is toxic, you don’t need to feel guilty by putting your needs first! It’s not your job to cater to others before yourself this isn’t being selfish this is self care!
I hear it all the time, “I’m in this relationship but I feel guilty walking away because of my kids” or “his or her situation isn’t so good right now or I can’t say no to that person because they’ve helped me with this or that” ( don’t get me started on the toxic vibration of obligation I’ll leave that for another blog), but seriously I see and hear it all the time. You are feeling guilty because you are seeking to be loved and we stay in situations out of fear of being alone and we end up resenting that person and or whatever vicious cycle we are in. I can’t and I refuse to feel guilty for putting my needs first.
Thats probably why I’ve walked away from so many situations that didn’t make me feel good but these last few weeks I realized I was feeling guilty for moving forward in my business and making the right choices for myself . All the doubts creeped in.
I have had it with guilt, no thank you. If I make a choice it’s my choice i own it. I will not feel guilty for how you feel about it. I realized that if I don’t respect myself and my feelings, then I’ll be used again as the door mat I was years ago.
May Love and Light Guide you home…